Student life: Arriving at Seminary and Coping with 

Welcome to the College life!

CHANGE!

If you are reading this it means that some of the following has occurred:

•   Your spouse has enrolled for the Theology course and the two of you have made the mutual decision (I sincerely hope!) to spend at least the next four years on this campus.
•   You have packed up your entire household and are now trying to cram it all into a matchbox campus house!
•   Your husband is now unemployed and a full time student which means that you as the wife will be completely responsible for all the financial needs of every member of your family (including your husband’s studies fees)!
•   Being relocated to a new town (maybe even a new province or country!...) entails the delightful search for new schools for your children, a new job, a new Dentist, a new doctor, a new hairdresser, an affordable grocery store, a new mechanic for the car ..... And at least a place to pin up your to-do-list!
•   You have said goodbye to friends, family and your known support structure.   Therefore you have arrived alone, a little exited (but actually scared stiff!) on a completely new and vastly unknown territory.
•   And last but not least:  You are sure you have heard God’s call... Therefore you have accepted His call... And you have acted upon His call by coming to the place where His workers are trained... Yet, you wonder if your faith will remain strong enough…

 “It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. ..” - C.S. Lewis

Coping with a matchbox lifestyle.

I am sure that the decision to come to Seminary was a mutual one. I have yet to see a husband arriving on campus with a wife tied up in the front seat! Although this might be a comical sight for the imagination, there has been more than one wife who have moved to campus with reluctance and far too often - with a very bad attitude ... But it is done! You have moved and now you are here! And it is going to take both of your efforts to make this work. For there is one fact that you can be sure of  - your decision to study Theology and receive training to serve the Lord in His vineyard has made the adversary extremely angry! And he will try to make your years of preparation as uncomfortable as possible. Don’t make his job easier by having a bad attitude!

Tip’s for her:

Proverbs 14:1 states: “A wise woman builds her house; a foolish women tares it down with her own hands.”

•  You are the heart of the household. When mom is unhappy—the entire household suffers! Make the decision that you will not allow your husband and children to suffer through your emotional roller-coaster. Handle your worries and concerns with proper maturity. Your children and your husband will find their comfort and contentment in the way you handle challenges.
•  Your husband came here to study. Know then that he is going to be very busy and he will spend long hours and most days in seclusion in front of heaps of books. Don’t nag him for attention! He is worried, he is over worked, and he is frustrated and dead tired. If you try to emotionally blackmail him by making him feel guilty about the time he spends with his studies then you are going to turn your house into a battleground! (And these houses are small! There is literally no place to give each other ‘some room’!)
•  When God called your husband He called you with him! So even though you are working off campus, surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit to prepare you spiritually and emotionally for your role as pastor’s wife. Attend where possible every training program where you as the wife are also welcomed and especially join the Shepherdess training programs on campus. God will feed you with information, wisdom and encouragement and you will have the opportunity to build lasting friendships!



It was a mutual decision

•  Don’t be the kind of wife that cannot cope without a husband. Be the kind of wife that a husband cannot cope without!

Tip’s for him:

Mathew 7:24 - “A wise man builds his house on the Rock.”

•  Please remember that you are the spiritual leader of your household. A house that neglects prayer and worship times will be vulnerable to utter destruction for its foundation is not solidly founded upon the Rock Jesus Christ. Do not fool yourself in thinking that you are now in a ‘early Heaven’ just because you are on a Christian campus. We are all trapped on a hijacked planet. And even on this campus you and your family are not concealed from the adversary's vision. Fill your house with the presence of the Lord. Make your home a place where angels feel welcome to tarry in. Let your faith be the fountain for your family to drink from!
•  Your studies are going to keep you very busy. But it is absolutely essential that you reserve one evening per week for your wife and family. My husband chose a Saturday evening. And in all the years of studies he ‘religiously’ kept his promise and spend that evening with his family (even during exam times!). Remember that God called a couple. Your wife will become your most trusted friend in the ministry. And for as much as she is expected to be at your side, you are expected to be at her side. For the time at Seminary she will be overworked, severely stressed and in many ways like a ‘fish out of water’. Take into consideration what she surrendered to come to College and support you in your studies. She is most likely cut off from her known support structure such as her family and friends and while you are burning the night oil in front of the books she is preparing tomorrows school lunches, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and silently telling her Lord that she misses her husband... Tell her often how much you appreciate everything she does. 
•  It is of utmost importance that you are of firm understanding and conviction of your priorities as a theology student. You came to this institution to study, to be taught and to remain here until you’re qualification is complete. Nothing is more important. You are not here to evangelize. You are not here to engage in personal agendas of any sort. You are here because you believe that God called you into His vineyard and hence you are here for preparation. You are here to study! Trust God and His institution. Surrender to His will. And leave the selfish, man-made calls at the gate.

Your attitude will make this work

A new support structure

When you left home for College you most probably left behind family and friends. It will not be surprising if after only a few weeks on campus you are starting to suffer from some serious “friend & family withdrawal symptoms”! It is of utmost importance that you do not isolate yourself. This does not mean that you should not value your privacy. It does however mean that we are not made to be alone. Begin by building a new support structure for you, your spouse and your children.

Here are some pointers:

•  Make friends with like-minded people. You need the safe haven of a friendly home where you spontaneously link and connect as friends.
•  Look for families that have children that are in the same age groups than yours. Your children are in need of friends to. Make an effort to ensure their social interaction is as thorough as possible.
•  Get involved in your local congregation. In any way you possible. Become part of a congregational family.
•  Find a mentor. The campus is blessed with excellent lecturers who are experts in their fields and have years of experience. Ask the Lord to provide you with a mentor that will guide you spiritually, pray for you and become a source of wisdom.

The golden rule for little campus matchbox housing survival …

DE - CLUTTER! DE - CLUTTER! DE - CLUTTER!

Nothing will elevate the levels of frustration like an over-tired mom coming home from work to a disorganized, cluttered matchbox of a home where the washing are occupying every chair there is to sit on and you have to push the children’s toys off your own bed before you can lay your tired bones to rest at night! 

Dad trips over his old golf clubs that is sticking out from under the bed, he tries to find his notes for tomorrows test between the dishes and the only place for his backpack is in the bathroom…

Ladies & gentlemen, you are going to live there for FOUR YEARS! (By the way, that is also the average amount of years for a pastor to serve in a district … give or take a year or two.) If you have never been an organized person - now is the time to start! For the sake of everyone’s sanity.

But most important of all,

Make your little house a home! Especially for your children. No matter what age they are. Place familiar objects like family photographs in the living area. Their rooms are small but make sure their favorite toy have a special place. Keep up the family traditions. Eat at least breakfast together. Share, care and laugh a lot!

Let you little matchbox house be a comfort zone that is pleasant to return to after a long day… Make your little house a home!

The “F” word!

Every student is familiar with the “F” word. And if you are not you will very soon become intimately acquainted… We are of course referring to FINANCES!

Unfortunately finances is not only an issue that you struggle within you first year of studies. Like the little matchbox house, the constant lack of finances is a lasting thorn in the flesh for campus life! Especially when it comes to theology students. It seems as if the adversary is especially annoyed with your decision to answer God’s call and therefore everything that has a motor, an engine or some kind of machine will cease at some unexpected time. Your car, your fridge, your kettle, your iron … your car again… your microwave oven, your stove, your electrical frying pan, your hairdryer …. Your car once again. And if you are lucky this is only what will happen in the first six months of campus life! (I am talking with experience!) There was a time when between five households we had three toilet rolls left and it was still two days before it was payday for us as wives! Yes, ladies & gentlemen … we rationed toilet paper! But through all the College years we never went to bed too hungry. We had little but enough. By God’s grace we survived…

Just because your pocket is empty don't
think God's is empty too...

Here are some pointers:

•   ..PLEASE don’t beg. Some student are professional beggars by the time they finish their degree. God send you to College - he will look after you and your family. Ask and you shall receive. BUT know this: Money will not grow on trees, fall from the skies or come to those that are leisurely enjoying their ‘four year Seminary vacation’ at the expense of others! God will look after you - but He will provide the opportunities for you to work and receive an honest income that will be sufficient for your needs. There will be times when God ‘spoil’ His children with a little bonus. Be therefore good stewards of all He bestows on you.
•   ..While the wife will go out and work to provide for the family, the man should also ask the Lord to guide him to work opportunities to lighten the financial burden of the family. The winter holiday is very long and is an ideal opportunity to raise funds. Do whatever your hands can find to do and God will multiply every sent because of your willingness. A lazy student will be a lazy pastor. A lazy wife will be a burden to the ministry. The character you have at college will be the character you take into the ministry.
•   ..Don’t belittle God! He owns the cattle on a thousand hills! When the car breaks down yet again, thank Him for the provision He has already made. Thank Him day in and day out for taking care of you. Let your faith and your willingness to work be an encouragement to all.

 “Each has his place in the eternal plan of heaven. Each is to work in co-operation with Christ for the salvation of souls. Not more surely is the place prepared for us in the heavenly mansions than is the special place designated on earth where we are to work for God”.  6 T p.12.  E.G. White

A Challenge: 

As your journey at Seminary has commenced, I challenge you as the Shepherdess in training – the wife of the student:

•  to seek a deeper understanding of God’s Word,
•  To strengthen your relationship with Jesus Christ our Savior,
•  To earnestly pray and request God to guide you to the calling that was set aside for no one else but you,
•  And finally, I challenge you to enjoy every moment of the years you will spend at College! You have followed the footsteps of Christ and therefore it is an honor and a privilege to be here. Make the most of it!

You will be in my prayers and in my heart. And today I give you a verse that carried me through some very rough times when we were at seminary:

2 Chronicles 16:9:

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.”

Vir my Afrikaanse vriende:

“Want die HERE - Sy oë deurloop die hele aarde om diegene kragtig te steun wie se hart onverdeeld op Hom gerig is!”

A final reminder:

There is only one celebrity in the Church and that is Jesus Christ! We have been called to be co-workers, not co-stars. Never should there be more limelight shone on you that on the Son of God. He alone is worthy of all honor and glory.

May your faith be strengthened every day!

Greetings from a fellow servant of the Lord,

Roné F.